Now that I reread my post, I see that I left out important pieces of info. I apologize.
My plan is still to remain in the LRT, but not to be as dark by increasing "incidental" contact. We exchange email almost daily about D's. I want face-to-face contact at least once a week. Normally WAW drops off D's and leaves w/o getting out of the car, so once a week, when I see headlights, I take out the trash or take the dog out, just to be there, smile, say Hi and welcome the D's home. When I have a gig, I ask if she wants more time w/D's if it's not convenient for her, I find someone else, no trade offs, just extra time. First time I did this she was surprised, maybe confused.
Both D's birthdays are in the spring, so I have made it a point to be upbeat, happy and make the family time together as fun as possible w/the spotlight on the birthday girl. You know, "act as if" that 300 lbs elephant isn't sitting there.
Today, D13 is getting an award. W&I will be there. I will be happy and supportive, shining the light on D13.
I've been working on me too. I've been going to a comedy workshop to work on a stand up routine (a 180, something totally new). I've fantasized about writing for a sitcom or Letterman, but I'm not serious about it. The band I occasionally play in is planning on cutting a CD (not a 180 but a resumption of what I used to do). I planning on buying a new bike for the summer and really getting serious about that (again not a 180 but a resumption of what I used to do). After all that, D's, house, work and the dogs, there is not much time left. But I recently have discovered something I contributed to our problems, but at this time, I don't know what to do about it. I need to think about this and talk to my C, because it's not me (like addiction or obsession), but how I interacted w/W (not controlling), and she isn't here, I don't know how to "work on" that.
