How will he ever know anything if I don't see him.

Some info may get back to him through mutual friends, family. Other than that, there may be occasion to see him in the future.

A while back you suggested that after a reasonable amount of time to contact him just to say hi and see about maybe catching up at lunch. Does this still apply if i know he is living with her? I don't want to be percieved as that x=wife that just can't let go.

You can't help what other people wish to perceive. But anyway, catching up with each other isn't the kind of action that makes someone seem as if they can't let go. Always calling, stalking, sending gifts, messages, that's the sort of stuff of not-let-go-ness, isn't it?

why go after someone who obviously doesn't want to be with me? Yet the little signals say I am testing to see if you want me. Do you agree with what my Mom said about cutting off all contact- period?

Are you saying his actions indicate that now that you're dark, he's curious?

I am tempted so many times to just send and e-mail, jokes, or pics, or text him to say hi, but I haven't. I'd also love to do it when i KNOW he is with her to let her see what it feels like

A whack upon you. You're really trying to get your mind freed from that thinking, aren't you?

How do YOU do it? I know you are excellent at not thinking of OM and her, and you hardly see her as well.How do you resist the temptation?

What temptation?

Today marks one year from my last DDay. Happy anniversary to me. I haven't contacted her since I don't know when, but she last emailed me on March 23. No contact since then. Still playing that blinking game. Now that their relationship is about to enter its second year, the odds are that it's fizzlesation chances run higher. I do plan on sending her an ecard around her mom's birthday in May, because her mom passed away a few years ago and I know how sullen she becomes on that day, and it's a good way to validate her from afar with something sweet, unromantic and simple. Then I'll see what happens next.

I have 30 years with him, its kinda hard to just turn it off, especially if I feel that there may be one drop of a R left or hope for a future R.

The future is unknown, but live as if he's not a part of it and move forward. Moving forward doesn't mean the door closes. The door closes when one of you are either dead or you've decided to close the door.