It's been a few weeks since I posted. In the time that has past, I did find out who the OM is. I do know him . . . and his sister and his mother. I did have to laugh when I found out who it was and I knew that it could not last, even if my W said that she "loves" him.
A week ago, I had the opportunity to talk with him. We were both waiting for our D's at a meeting. When I saw him I didn't know what to do or say. I remembered that on my phone consult w/Vernetta, she said that if I knew who he was, how I treated him could be a DB strategy. At first I was going to nicely say, "Hey, I know what's going on and I'd appreciate it if you'd cut it out." But I thought (and prayed) about the right words. I calmly walked up to him and said hi. He saw me coming and was looking down. When he heard my voice, he looked up and said hi. There was a minute of silence and then I asked if he had been out on his bike recently (we're both "cyclists"). He said no that he didn't have much time. I said that I had been out on New Years day because it was so warm, but not since. I asked another small talk questions and then someone else came to wait. I said so long and left.
I felt so empowered to have all my wits about me and not be afraid or nervous or going bonkers w/my emotions spilling all over the place. I felt great being nice to him all the while knowing inside he was wondering if I know and if I did why am I being so nice to him. I felt great just being there letting him feel my presence, but being calm, cool and collected. It was like practicing DB w/my W, except it was the OM!
Many thanks to Vernetta for her suggestion that how I treat him could be a DB strategy. And thanks to my Lord for filling me w/the confidence to stand firm in the truth. I know that there is a long road ahead, but I'm on it for the long haul and whatever happens in the future, I have my dignity and integrity in tact. I'm not perfect by any means, but I feel more in control of myself than I have in a while.
My question is this, now what? I know that snooping and spying are detrimental to the sitch and I haven't done any of that. Do I wait to see what happens? Do I let my W know what I know? (I'm guessing not.) I've been dark (save for stuff about the kids) for about 6 weeks now. For some reason I feel the urge to some out of the dark, but don't know what to do or say. Any suggestions?
