I just wanted to add how do you handle working with the OM. Like in my sitch W told me they only were talking, however 54 phone calls everytime i'am not around and some emails on how i miss you and this could be dangerous etc.. is pretty scary. I believe this was only a EA but there is one set of calls every ten mins apart on a night W went out. Anyways Me and W are Police Officers and the OM is too, we all work in the same building but doing diffrent things. Yesterday I brought W a flower for somthing she did for me ( baby step) anyways OM was in his office when we stopped to talk to other P.O. and I said how is it going OM and he replied not bad. W walked back to her office with the vase I gave her. I just want to say at that time I did not feel anything no anger no blame but later in the day I though I want to rip his head off, and then I said would this get me closer to W? Probably not. So much for Police officer Brotherhood that is what really hurts is somebody knows you and your W but just gets in for themselves, to me that OM is scumand has no values. I felt really good confronting that situation. When I produced the evidence to W when I found all this out she kept telling me she did not have an affair and it was just talk ( alot of talking) W even told me Om respects me and admires we are going to MC. If he respected me he would stepped back and said no she is married and dropped it. (My own values) It feels like I need her to come clean with me so I can forgive her. I always try to stop blaming and have beginners mind we still live together and she told me she was moving in june. W has stopped talking about seperation and actually talked about a future with me like getting a new house toghether and a new wedding ring for me. I have made many baby steps and they continue, however there is alot of work to do and I think the OM issue has stopped, but I still guard myself. My sitch is a little diffrent because my W thinks I took her for granted and never did enough for her and she is right. So I have been working on me and it makes me a better stronger person. Most people would of pursuid this OP situation and maybe even got into a fight or worse killed someone I see that everyday at work. What I am getting at is if you fall down get back up and dust your self off, regroup and continue to feel positive. I get hit hard at work listening to everyone elses problem and alot of times I start to think of my own sitch. I just pick myself up and start all over again.
