I didn't post my entire story, so here is more of it to ease your mind. Yes, I am taking care of myself and D13&D14. I've given up the pursuit for the past 2 months. I've bordered on dark for the past 2 months or so (OK there was that one time when the D papers arrived, but I am human). I'm taking a class, I have an support circle of 5, I've joined a singing group, I'm playing the piano, I'm playing in a band.
I don't sit around and mope and snoop. Sure, early on I did, but now I know that it causes me more grief than it is worth. The information about the OM just happend to fall out of the sky and is hanging on a tree limb for me to pick, if I choose. I've taken a week to get myself in the right frame of mind to do this. I'm doing it on my terms in my time in my way. I have control of the delivery of the information so I will have better control of myself receving the information.
(That last paragraph sounded very "controling" and yes, I have "worked" on that. I have been able take a step back and not "have my hand on the wheel" all the time. And you know what, we didn't end up in a ditch!)
Last Friday I was in the best "place" that I have been in several months. I am there again today. I will not let this consume me. I am better than that now.
I need to demonstrate to myself and then my W the confidence in myself that I can go on w/ or w/o her. I have "detached" from her shenanagans and am now able to dodge them or let them roll off my back. I'm moving back to the fun loving, musical guy that I was before all this @#$% happened! I wanna be free, I wanna be me again!
