Just from my experience when I was snooping around trying to get as much info as I could on the OM. I have his phone number, address and I know this sounds petty, but last night I saw a web cam pic of him and it made me feel better because I was thinking he would look like Brad Pitt or something. I know that's kind of shallow but it really did make me feel a little better even if it was a grainy web cam pic.
Like what Ellie said, reading any "love letters" or any kind of communication is what hurts the most.
I'd suggest not snooping or spying as it can consume you and you'll lose your focus on DB'ing. It's been much better for me since I stopped spying on my W.
