Well, for me 'going dark' was 180. It just wasn't working, even the vagueist amount of contact would make my H agressive. I had been very close to him in the M and we spent 70% of our time together, so 'disappearing' for me was a total turn around of behaviour which was what eventually brought him to me.
I even got a kiss on msn messenger last night
I guess it depends on what your R was like with your W before and how much she percieves your contact as 'trying' on the M (which ex's can find off putting) - sometimes going grey works as well. I just think that with your W changing her mind all the time, the last thing she needs is pressure.
If you give her the opportunity to miss you, it could swing the cards in your favour.
