Well, in June 04 he took over picking up our dd (prior to that he was getting his OW to do it so we wouldn't have to meet).
We had a few weeks of this, just 10 minutes here and there, civil pleasantaries. I re-decorated my house and he asked to come in and see it and he commented that every room in the house was a different colour so I knew then that he was moving nearer.
He started noticing little things round the house, like I bought some weighing scales so I could make biscuits, and he noticed those.
It was very much baby steps, that's how you have to start it, just by being civil.
Then he came round and admitted he 'had feelings' and we got into this really intense sexual fling (that's all it was at that point, animal sex). I told OW because it seemed wrong for her not to know. I actually became friends with the OW briefly because she thanked me for being honest with her.
H then said he needed 'space' to work out what he wanted, so I 'went dark' again and a couple of months later, before Christmas he came round again, wanting to chat. We had several meetings where we'd just talk, sometimes just the 2 of us, sometimes with the kids too.
He started sending me text messages all the time and it got really expensive (my phone bill was �94!!) so I put him on my msn messenger and we started talking on that as well.
Then I went away to Cyprus for my Christmas - just me and my youngest dd (again, showing him I have my own life). I did not contact him the whole time I was away.
I was on a train on my way home, when he rang me and asked if he and my other dd's could come round for a Christmas Day with me? I said yes and so we had another Christmas Day on December 30th!
It was wonderful as it was the first Christmas in 2 years that I had seen my kids open their presents.
After that we started sleeping together again and shortly after that it was acknowledged by him that we are in a tentative R.
We now 'date' and see each other on average 2 or 3 times a week.
My R with the children is getting a lot better too and my youngest dd is enjoying all the extra time she is getting with her sisters.
But it was a VERY slow process and still takes a lot of determination from both of us.
This is how we re-connected after a year, by gentle baby steps.
I joined this site to give others hope and inspiration and also to get support myself, because to me M is the most important thing in the world, especially if there are kids too, and I did what I could and fought for my M for this reason.
I am telling you this so you know, no matter how bad the storm is now, it won't always be like that.
