I think that I'm finally coming to really understand that W doesn't like to talk. I've always wanted to talk things out, but W has always resisted. I think I got much, much more from C than W did. Talking really helps me. But just like different LL's, I'm coming to see that W is different in that area as well. She's uncomfortable talking. And believe it or not, it's just through the responses I've gotten here today that my eyes have been opened to that.
I've read so much in books and on this board about intimacy being complete openness with each other. To me, that meant that we could and did fell comfortable talking about anything and making ourselves vulnerable to each other. Now I'm seeing that W may have a different definition. She may see opening up physically and emotionally as being necessary to true intimacy, but talking about those actions and emotions as completely unnecessary.
I also like your reasoning about being manipulative, but I don’t think it applies to me. My interest is more along the lines of trying to prevent torpedoing things than in trying to manipulate W into a repeat performance. What your reasoning does for me is to help me see that there are other ways to interpret what seems real straightforward to me.
I'm still confused, still trying to understand, still trying to analyze. But I'm learning to keep my mouth shut.
