I think your wife’s actions are a result of your own. The letter you wrote was very sweet. She is showing you that she appreciates it. Maybe she even gets it.
I’m just like you. I analyze things to death and want a logical explanation for every single last thing. I’m thrilled that your W is slowly but surely coming around. I think you should just tell her that you enjoyed your last encounter, without trying to determine the reasons it happened.
My H and I used to have formulaic sex for years. I think that very early on, I was the one who was naïve and inhibited, and he got used to just doing certain things with me. By the time I came around, he had lost interest. Lately, my H has also being trying new things, and sometimes I am just dying to question him about it and wanting to know why and what and how and when….it takes a lot of effort to keep my mouth shut, but I do. There was that time a few months ago when he was giving me a backrub, when he asked me not to move at all, eased off my clothes, and kept rubbing my back throughout, while he ML to me. It was very intense. Boy, I wanted to jump up and down, explain to him that this was passion, ask him why this was different, if I had done something…etc. After a lot of mental battle, I told him that this was a very erotic experience for me, and left it at that.
He will do something new or different quite often now. So will I. We don’t make a big deal of it. It is nice to get to this point.
One thing my H hates is playing 20 questions. He hates it when I repeat a question. He hates me wanting to know what is going on in his head. Slowly but surely, I am learning to let things be.
If I want to know why he did something I liked, is it because I can try to get him to do that again? Surely, that is manipulative and he is no idiot. I find that this line of thinking helps temper what comes out of my mouth, lol.
Good luck, WB. I think the ride might be fun from here on out.
