You’re quite right, of course. She IS communicating. And I AM enjoying it. It’s just hard for me to accept it without understanding it.
I know that I went in into this at length last May, but it’s very hard for me to just “let it go”. I have a really hard time making my mind stop questioning why things changed. If it’s something I did, I don’t want to overdo it, but I do want to continue doing it. Likewise, if it’s something I said, I want to say it some more. If it’s something I didn’t do, I want to make sure I don’t do it anymore.
I have empirical evidence in our (almost) weekly LM that just because I don’t understand it doesn’t mean that it won’t continue. But it’s still something that I have a hard with. I really want to understand. I know better than to press her on it, so I come here to see if any of you have an idea about what’s going on.
I love that she did this. And I’ll admit that fear is a big part of why I feel the need to understand it: I’m afraid of messing it up. W is obviously very touchy about sex. She refused to even discuss it at either MC that we saw. I know that I can’t really talk to her about this new development, and I know how touchy she is. So I’m afraid that I’ll unintentionally do or say something that reverses the progress. That’s why I feel so driven to understand what brought about the change.
I’m going to do what you suggest and just go with it. But it ain’t gonna be easy.
