Have you read DR? I'm thinking specifically about the chapter on asking for what you want. I hear a lot of vague complaints in your letter and no specific request. If that's what your W hears, then it probably won't help.
My suggestions: Don't refer to more than one incident from the (very recent!) past (no digging up old garbage). Say how you felt about that (not how she "made" you feel, and don't make her guess). Then focus on what you want (pick one, specific, doable thing). Tell her what is important to you. Tell her how important it is. Tell her why (based on your needs). Express your deep interest in addressing her needs, too. In fact, I might start out the letter by talking about how important it is for you to understand her needs and finish off by telling her how important her happiness is to you.
