I have a suggestion. It probably won't make a lot of sense, but have a look at it and think about it. See if you can use it.
Either in a letter or conversation, say something along these lines.
........ On the subject of sex.
I am crushed that I have hurt you so badly that you don't feel you can make love to me.
The problem, is that I don't know what it is I have done. If I don't know what I have done, I can't fix it. If you will tell me what I have done to offend you so much that you don't want to have sex with me, I promise I will do my best to address the problem, no matter what it is. ........
If she says it isn't your problem, then you can tell her that it is becoming a serious issue with you, and that you want to work on it before you end up a watery pile of resentment and the marriage is affected.
If she says it is your problem, then you can work on it, and even enlist her help. Fix it, then tell her when you are done. Find out if she agrees.
Don't allow for a third issue. Especially a claimed difference in drives. For now, it is either your problem or hers, no gray.
You can addresses the issues as a couple eventually, but someone has to take responsibility for the sex initially. Someone has to move first.
The above scenario is similar to what happened in our situation.
Please let me know what you think.
Everyone other than socal, please ignore this advice.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
