WB, I think your wife won't talk because she knows she doesn't have to.
Unless you are willing to force whatever issue you are wanting her input about, she is quite happy to clam up--it WORKS FOR HER.
In order to break out of this rut, you will have to do something different. If you've always accepted her silence then she has no reason to ever answer, right?
What if you were to say to her, "I'd like to hear your thoughts about the letter I wrote you." She will stonewall, and then you can mentally say to yourself, Ok it's Tuesday. I will ask her again on Saturday. Then do that and she will stonewall again. You can make a date to ask her again. She'll get the picture and eventually get mad.
At that point, you can say (calmly and kindly): "Wife, all I've ever wanted is an answer from you when I put my heart on the line. From this day forward, I will keep asking in the hopes that you will answer. It is not my wish to make you mad but I'm no longer willing to pretend that I'm ok with the silence."
You will have to allow her to get mad and mentally come to grips with the fact that she can't 'get away' with it any longer.
Right now, you are an accomplice in her immaturity.
