I hear you. I understand being married to someone who "hides". Your W is protecting herself - From who? From what? I don't know. There is some pain inside her that keeps her from letting you close. I realize that knowing this doesn't help. Was it something you did or said in the past. Maybe. Was it something she grew up with? Probably. I'm not sure I have any advice here.
Perhpas you should see a C for yourself. It must be (it is) hard to live in a situation in which you continually make yourself vulnerable and your spouse chooses not to reciprocate. Make sure that you do some things that make you feel good - a hobby, a friendship, counseling etc...
Good for you for letting everyone know how you feel. So many of us never have the chance to hear those things from our parents or partners.
