Update to life; I feel like typing alot today. So I'm going to put my feelings out there. Any thoughts would be greatly apreciated.

Last night I was with my friends and was trying to make a bet on which one of them would get married first. They both told me that I would be back with my WAW before they got married. We will see.

The restraining order got dropped. WAW emails me first thing the morning about S5 and then called. I told her I was sorry and I really do want to get along for S5 sake, she agreed. First time I've talked to her since April. I wasn't upset talking to her at all. In the past I would be trying to figure out why?

I'm refocused on myself, like never before. I understand that I'm in no position to carry on with a bad marriage. What do I mean by that? I love her, hate her, angry at her, jeaslous of her, pity her, and love her again. I have to be in a stable position to get in any relationship. If the phone calls and emails start up again like before, I am simply going to explain to WAW what I just put in this paragraph and that all contact should be keeped to a mininium. Not because I want her back, because I just need space to figure out me.

The thought of re-marrying my WAW someday is not a thought I currently entertain.(might happen someday) Why do I still type on this board, because I know DB'ing works. And Michelle states that "People who follow her program will end up happier with or without WAW" I believe that to be true. GAL is key!!!!!!

My GAL - moving forward

Bought Lexus RX300 yesterday
Still very involved with my Church - love that place
Law School in the near future
Intensive outpatient alcohol treatment - starts next week
Softball
Not hurting about my Divorce - God has forgiven me - the big guy up stairs is who I need to please. That is my struggle. I know who I want to be, I just need to get there.

You see the diffence is me - I'm not doing these things to get WAW back, I'm doing them for me.

I'm going to miss all S5 T-ball games because of treatment and I don't feel bad. Because if I don't get help - his Dad could be DEAD soon.