Thanks, S! It is kinda scary really. Sometimes I feel myself heading toward that victim thing. Boy that is a hard one to beat, but being aware of it helps me to switch my thinking before I do something I will regret. Last night he stopped at a friend's on his way home from work. He called to let me know, then a couple hours later he called again to say they were working on a car and having a good time telling lies. I told him to have a good time and see him later. Then I start thinking those old thoughts about why doesn't he come home, why am I not the priority in his life, blah, blah, blah. Then he called one last time about an hour later to say he was on his way home and had a great time with friends and did I miss him? I pushed the victim really hard away from me and told him yes I missed him and was glad he was having a good time.

Before I would have went with the victim and not had much to say on the phone--grumpy attitude toward him and pretended I was asleep when he got home. But, that never really got me anywhere did it?! So this time, I'm awake, watching tv, asking him about his night, we are playing with the dog and it's all good! What a difference, but still takes work on my part.

We haven't done anything special yet. I know he doesn't want to make a big deal out of it, but I'm going to ask for a dinner out--no R talk, just enjoy each other's company.

One thing, we haven't put our rings back on yet. He said he will but I haven't seen it. I have a feeling he may have lost it and doesn't want me to know. He once said OW took stuff from him that he didn't know she took--so guess what I'm thinking about the ring! Anyway, I'm not going to accuse, just waiting. I'll probably put mine on and see what happens.

There was a time in the beginning when there wouldn't have been any contact but I kept initiating cuz I was totally freaked out! The longest we went without talking was 3 days. He was really depressed during that time and wasn't really talking to anyone.

So I'm keeping you to your acceptance of the challenge. I still don't believe he has forgotten you exist. I think he is just afraid of the conversations you might get into. My H didn't want to talk a lot and warned me if I was getting into uncomfortable areas.

I still have hope for you, S! And even if it doesn't work out with him, you are going to be great! I look for you on here everyday to see how you are doing. Keep taking care of you!