You are right about the blessings. Life has so much more meaning that it did before. I feel a thousand times more wiser. Life is so rich now, and I would have never know that without all the pain I have endured. I also like my new humble self. I am so grateful for that.
You are also right about H possibly detoxing right now. Maybe that is why he was so moody. I do have a tendancy to become controlling even though I know that is not what is best for him. I know I tell you to remember these things all the time, but it is even difficult for me to remember this even though I have been through exactly what H is going through. Alanon worked so well for me this past summer. I plan to return tomorrow. It always gets me back on track.
I was going back over some of your old posts. I have never posted as the stresses come and go along with my emotions like you have. Reading your old posts from back in May flooded my head with a lot of old memories in my own situation. It helped me see how far I have come and you too. Wow have things improved. I guess it is easy to slip back into the obsessive thinking. Thank God it is easier to slip out of that thinking now.
Your posts have helped me so much. I had actually forgotton how crazy things had gotten for you back around May. I have been using your recent posts to keep my spirits up since things have softened so much between you and wife. I also get inspiration from your posts by seeing that no matter how bad things get between you and wife from time to time, everything always calms down eventually. We are going to be old and wrinkled by the time we things perfected but that is OK.
Do you ever listen to U2? I am not a big music person, but my friend had the new U2 CD playing in his car. I never saw him as a spiritual person, but he said outloud, "This CD is great. You should listen to the words." I just liked the song so I went and got the CD. As I started to listen to all the songs, I realized it is all religious music. It is kind of interesting to listen to the words. I never knew that about U2.
Here are the words to a few of the songs on there newest CD. I thought you might like them.
Yahweh
Yahweh
by U2
Album: How To Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
Take these shoes
Click clacking down some dead end street
Take these shoes
And make them fit
Take this shirt
Polyester white trash made in nowhere
Take this shirt
And make it clean, clean
Take this soul
Stranded in some skin and bones
Take this soul
And make it sing
Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, Yahweh
Still I’m waiting for the dawn
Take these hands
Teach them what to carry
Take these hands
Don’t make a fist
Take this mouth
So quick to criticise
Take this mouth
Give it a kiss
Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, Yahweh
Still I’m waiting for the dawn
Still waiting for the dawn, the sun is coming up
The sun is coming up on the ocean
This love is like a drop in the ocean
This love is like a drop in the ocean
Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, tell me now
Why the dark before the dawn?
Take this city
A city should be shining on a hill
Take this city
If it be your will
What no man can own, no man can take
Take this heart
Take this heart
Take this heart
And make it break
This song is old and I never knew what it was about. To me, it means how the worst day of my life was really the beginning of a new relationship with God.
Beautiful Day
U2 - Album 'All that you can't leave behind'
Music by U2 Lyrics by Bono
The heart is a bloom
Shoots up through the stony ground
There's no room
No space to rent in this town
You're out of luck
And the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck
And you're not moving anywhere
You thought you'd found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
In return for grace
It's a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
You're on the road
But you've got no destination
You're in the mud
In the maze of her imagination
You love this town
Even if that doesn't ring true
You've been all over
And it's been all over you
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day
Touch me
Take me to that other place
Teach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case
See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out
It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day
Touch me
Take me to that other place
Reach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case
What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now
Don't need it now
Was a beautiful day
This one is also old, and I never realized what it is about either. They say "she" is probably referring to Mary. I grew up Catholic and liked that this was about Mary. U2 is from Ireland and Catholic also.
Mysterious Ways - U2 Lyrics
Johnny, take a walk with your sister the moon
Let her pale light in to fill up your room
You've been living underground, eating from a can
You've been running away from what you don't understand
She's slippy, you're sliding down
She'll be there when you hit the ground
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
She moves in mysterious ways
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
She moves in mysterious ways
Johnny, take a dive with your sister in the rain
Let her talk about the things you can't explain
To touch is to heal, to hurt is to steal
If you want to kiss the sky, better learn how to kneel
On your knees, boy
She's the wave, she turns the tide
She sees the man inside the child
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
She moves in mysterious ways
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
She moves in mysterious ways
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Lift my days, light up my nights, love
One day you'll look back, and you'll see
Where you were held
How by this love while you could stand there
You could move on this moment
Follow this feeling
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
She moves in mysterious ways
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
She moves in mysterious ways
Love, it’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright
We move through miracle days
Move you, spirit, move, making love
It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright
Yeah, move, yeah, move, make love
Spirit moves in mysterious ways
You move with it, she moves with it
It’s alright, it’s alright, alright
Lift my days, light up my nights, love
Just wanted to let you know that H still hasn't called me since he hung up on me 2 days ago. This morning when I answered the phone, someone hung up on me. I like to think it was him, but I doubt it. He isn't known to do things like that. I am though. I probably should call him. Eventually I will. I just think H doesn't realize how much his drug abuse is affecting me. I want him to start to understand. My calling him and pretending like everything is OK is starting to hurt me too much.
My nephew's room is almost finished. I painted most of yesterday and should finish today. Oh my God does it look beautiful! We are all so excited. Well the next coat of paint is probably dry. I need to get back to work.
Thanks everyone for all your support. JDD, thanks for everything. Take care. I hope things are going good.
