I appreciate you listening to my venting it has made me feel a lot better. You both made me realize I am just having a bad day.
JDD, I have read and do continue to read a purpose driven life. It helped me make sense and even good out of all my heartache and garbage. I love that book! I may have to get it off the bookshelf and read it again tonight.
I read your situation with wife today and how she was so moody. Don't take to heart all the things she said today. She was just upset and didn't mean any of those things. I am giving you this advice to you and taking it myself. I am starting to realize that these little fights and changes in emotions are just a part of life and a part of relationships. There will always be conflicts, but I think as we mature we learn to handle them in a healthier way. Boy life is hard! That has been a huge wakeup call for me.
Also, JDD realize that wife is extra moody because of her messed up thinking. In a year she will have made leaps and bounds in her recovery. I have to add that I didn't stay 100% sober that first year. I would get my hands on pain pills and go on week long binges once a month, then every two month, every three etc. I also would take Tylenol PM, soma and diet pills. My years of addiction taught me to pop some sort of pill at any sign of distress. I went to a therapist because I was feeling just crazy. He told me it was because I kept taking pills here and there and that they would affect my emotions and thinking. Finally, I started to learn that I didn't like feeling that way, and I stopped all together. So you know, it isn't like it took me one year with no mess ups to start to feel normal again. It took me one year that included a few backslides so hang in there. Things will get better with time.
There is a book out there that may be of benefit to you. It is called "Addictive Thinking" by Abraham Twerski, MD. I think it would help you a lot to realize that when wife seems like someone you can't hangle that it is just her screwed up thinking. It took me a long time to admit that I think differently, but once I did, I can now recognize the pattern, take note and lighten up a little bit. The book describes the way an addict thinks. It doesn't matter whether the person is in active addiction or not. They just think differently. Some examples include hypersensitivity, perfectionism or if they can't be perfect they just get a **ck it attitude and let everything go by the wayside. A lot of times they are also black and white. There are no in-betweens. Also, I read that people who have addictive thinking usually do not achieve to their abilities because they are afraid of failure. This is what made me apply to this graduate program. I wanted to apply this program when I first graduated from school, but I was afraid to be denied enrollment. Reading that about my personality and admitting it, convinced me to give it a try. It told me, you know, your fear of failure is just your messed up way of thinking and normal people aren't like that. I took the plunge and applied anyway. It was a huge leap for me. The book helped me a lot, and it may be worth your while to look into it so you can see why wife acts certain ways. I found it at Barnes and Noble in the addiction section.
I want to add that whenever I see someone post a story about a nasty arguement, it is a given that things always blow over after a little bit of time. I guarantee this will blow over with you in no time. Hang in there. Thanks for the words of encouragement. Everything you said hit home and made a lot of sense. Thanks!
