Quote: I can totally see how I could have avoided this whole situation, but I think it is time for things to come to a head. I just wish it could have happened after he sees me. I almost think he did it on purpose because he doesn't want me to see him. He probably still looks like crap and knows I will know he is still using. He probably still has that bloated drug look (like Elvis who used the same type of drugs as us).
You are doing a whole lot of mind reading here and reading a lot into what he says. If you suspect he's playing some kind of game with you or just stringing you along you need to ask. "It feels to me that you just want me around as a possibility. Is that true? I've been wondering if you have started this just so I won't see you. Is there any truth to that?" Don't read his mind and don't make assumptions based on worst case scenario. You also sound like you are letting some resentments creep in. Good DBing doesn't involve a lot of "forcing things to a head". That seems to backfire quite a bit. It depends on whether your usual approach was to bring things to a head or not.
That being said I can understand your frustration. You do need to stick to your guns about the school and about wanting him to be clean before you do anything with him. I just don't know if it hurts for him not to see you. You have the opportunity to meet with him and if he is clearly still doing drugs or the interaction is otherwise unacceptable you can show how strong you are by walking away. Then go dark until he shapes up. Just my .02
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
