I enjoyed reading your update. It was great to hear that your H is responding to your positive changes. I appreciated hearing that validating H's feelings or perspective worked. What if you took it one step further and didn't bother to defend his brother, but merely validated him (giving him the sense that you are completely behind him, yet staying neutral regarding the other), with statements such as, "I'm sorry that you're having to go through this again with him." "I know that you'll think about this and find a good way to deal with it." This way, you don't appear to be taking the side of the brother. Not attacking family anymore is great, and I'm sure he appreciates it, but now try to merely attend to H and see what happens.
The insurance and "me and you" comment do seem like H is planning for the two of you! I'm very happy for you, Sam! Such nice positives here.
I too find DBing and my better attending to my faith becoming more and more intertwined. At times I fall back to wishing I had been this strong or balanced in the past, but DBing is about staying in the present while working toward a better future.
Take care, Sam! And scold your computer for me (I'd love to hear about your sitch more often).
(I'd love to hear about your sitch more often). 
