Thanks for the nice words. Hope, I posted on your thread. Also, I wanted to clarify my plans. My plans involve showing husband "here I am, see what your missing, first kick the addiction then we can work on a relationship". The last scenario you described is my exact plan. I think I spent the last three months DBing so I could become someone H would miss. Now I have to show some tough love and let H go. Counselor explains that I have set a good stage, H knows I love him, H knows I am a good person, H knows his life will be less without me. I just hope the drugs aren't more powerful. I trust H can do this now I need to get some strength and just let him go, completely and totally. Counselor explained that being loving and kind to an addict has the opposite effect of being loving and kind to someone who is not an addict. She reminded me that those who influenced me while I was using influenced me because they helped me hit rock bottom not because they were kind and patient with me.
Also, he told me the other day that "I am his hero". It sounded so corny when he said it but it was so sweet and sincere. He said, "You are my hero." You know on Ferris Bueller when the friend says to Ferris after he rescues him from the pool, "You're my hero, Ferris." It reminded me of that and I wanted to laugh. Of course, I didn't let husband know and inside I was just beaming.
I want to remind you all that the only reason things have been going well is because of my excellent DBing. In the next week I will list exactly what I have done to give you all some ideas.
Gabriel... It is so easy to get caught up in W, focus to much energy on her and mess up the DBing. You are right, the best thing to do is back off and refocus.
I'll keep you guys posted about my trip to see H. I think I should stay in a hotel for sure instead of at his house. Do you think I should have sex with him or not? Sometimes I think I shouldn't because it will make me get to emotional. It is going to be hard to resist, but I think I should. I know sex could also be a good thing for us. Maybe we could reconnect. That is the only reason I would do it. Doing it for my own emotional needs is too risky for my mental health. H is not really the type to have sex just to have sex so maybe I should. He gets emotionally attached for sure. Or..maybe I should the next time we see each other but not this trip. I think sex this trip would be taking things to fast. We have not had sex since our divorce was filed over a year ago, but we have slept together in the same bed a handful of times. Advice please.
I have been working hard at getting in shape. H slipped and said he was going to break his diet and each such and such and then stuttered. It was obvious he is trying to look good for me and regretted letting me know. I am getting excited just talking about my trip. Four more weeks!!! Yeah! It is going to be weird.
