No, it's not wrong to hope. Hope is the best of things and gets people through traumas. If you think good things, good things will eventually happen to you.
No one likes someone that is all doom, gloom and disaster so you're more likely to attract her attention if you are hopeful (but not in an overt way).
It might help you to know that I went through 2 years of custody battle with my H, a divorce, lost my family, friends etc and he said the same as your W, 'I'm never coming back' and even got an OW at one point.
There were times when I thought I would die, but the seed of friendship was still there. When I lost hope of him ever being with me and started to hope for other things (new life, new career, maybe new man), he realised I'd disconnected from him and panicked. Because the friendship and the good history was always there (and every relationship has good history) it was relatively easy to re-connect.
We've been 'dating' now for nearly 3 months when he said 'never' and when everyone said a M doesn't survive a custody battle. I am living proof that it does.
I don't know how it's going to go, everything is so tentative and sometimes I louse up, but the point is, it's there.
Remember Hope33, the only thing that is unchangable is death. Hold onto that thought, and it'll get you through.
