I'm jumping in here because the only people I have ever known who saved their marriage were my parents...and that was around an addiction issue as well.
I must admit that I didn't go back and read your entire thread so my suggestion here my be off. Let me just say that if your H is in treatment he's probably not ready yet for any of this.
The way my Mom handled it was to stay way. She knew that the stuggle he was in wasn't just about their marriage, it was about the rest of my Dad's life.
When Dad contacted Mom she was very clear to him to she loved him and prayed for his recovery but she never put demands on him. In fact Mom continued with her life, started dating, moved, got really strong.
One day Dad was at the front door asking if he could come in. He told her he was ready and what would it take for them to be together. Only then, when Dad felt he had his illness under control, did they begin to work on their relationship.
My parents remarried and where together for another 14 years. Dad passed away in July of 2003. Mom was at his side.
Georgia
"It's not what happens to you, it's what you make of it." Zig Ziglar
