I like this board, after reading a few more posts I'll probably make this my new home.
After reading and re-reading your situation, I came up with the following: I think it would be wise to pick your battles, let some of this stuff roll off your back. If you hadn't made an issue of his statement "I was just about to call you", you could have had a good conversation. And he definetly could have handled your concern better, and maybe if you hadn't called back he would have after cooling down and thinking about your expressed concern, either way he didnt initially respond in a productive way, but this is about you being the bigger person. W and I had a conversation which lead to something she didnt want to talk about and I just wouldn't let it go, finally the conversation ended with "I'm going to bed, goodnight" (her words). The next day she left me a voice mail saying she wasn't upset with what I said, it was more the fact that I was not listening to her when she was saying "I would like to end this conversation". The bottom line is I need to respect her more, if she doesn't want to talk I should not try to keep her on the phone.
It doesn't sound like your at a point in your relationship where you can "ask for what you want", so I think you need to "Pick your battles". I know his game is bothering you, but are you ready to ask for what you want, from his response I'd say no.
If it where me, I'd think about what you did wrong (you mentioned you got needy) apoligize for that, and make it a point not to go down that cheezeless tunnel again. In the future if you feel you have to call him and the conversation starts to go south, try to make the most of it even if it means letting a comment slide, or making the conversation short once you realize its not a good time to talk.
You are doing really good, your H is showing some real positive signs. Continue to be the bigger person and pick your battles, that doesnt mean you cant have boundries.
