Thanks for the ideas . . . let me "noodle" this. I have for so long treated this as a "black and white" issue -- The Enforcer and The Caver -- and you've made me look at it from a third way. You're saying "no matter what The Caver says, I expect this from you, and you will answer to me on it."
I'm wondering, on the issue of whether or not my W will just see this as my "taking over" and therefore feel even MORE inadequate, if -- the next time she's saying she's overwhelmed -- I just ASK her:
"Honey, I'd like to help, but I haven't wanted to undermine you with the kids, or act like I have all the answers. I do have some ideas, tho -- would you like me to take a crack at it? I'll tell you up front, I'm going to seem like an A$$, but I'm willing if you are."
