That's the problem. In the past 10 years, we've instituted probably TEN "chores" lists, programs, complete with rewards and/or consequences, and every one has failed. The kids (now D18, D16, S12 and S8) view them as a joke, because they know that we won't follow thru on them.
My wife IS a stay-at-home mom, and I'm not there to enforce these things other than the evenings and the weekends. MY WIFE ALWAYS caves in, and "undoes" everything that I try to enforce. The kids have been conditioned that if they whine enough, nag enough and fight her enough, that she will eventually give in.
She uses "I have four kids!" as a crutch, IMHO. I've tried to point to her that -- while they were little, and the work involved may have been true -- that people actually HAVE large families intentionally to HELP around the house (farms, family businesses, but it applies to the household, too), and that having four grown, able-bodied and otherwise bright children should be a NET PLUS , not a minus!
I'm sure she DOES want me to come home and be "The Enforcer," but I get tired of being the hard-a$$ all the time, when she won't back up the system when I'm not there.
Besides, even if all of this DOES lead to fatigue on her part, how does that affect her giving me a freaking BACK SCRATCH every now and again? She does this for the kids, and even the danmed DOG, CAT AND BIRD get more affection than I do.
