Quote: Perhaps your W is one of those people. She is content with how it is and doesn't realize how much better it could be. She doesn't KNOW what she's missing out on, in terms of everything that's inside you..how much more she could get from you and with you if she'd allow this side of you to flourish. So to expect her to get it and want that in a way that is tangible to you is probably not going to happen.
Honey,
First, thanks for the only hug and kiss I'll probably get today.
Second, no, it's NOT possible that she doesn't realize how it could be. Or what she's missing out on. Or how much more she could get from me. Because we lived this way for two years before our children were born, and for several (albeit steadily-dwindling) periods in years thereafter!
We lived this way for almost two months, four years ago!
This is what I struggle with! She KNOWS what it's like to have a marriage like that, and she KNOWS how important it is to me. She's SEEN my intense pain, and she KNOWS how this is killing me (or at least, has killed me in the past, as "nonchalance" has become by veneer by now).
She knows ALL of that. But she won't DO anything about it. She won't go see a C. She won't initiate. She won't even give me a freaking back or head scratch, something she KNOWS I adore!
How am I supposed to process that realization, other than "I guess I'm not important to you."
