FWIW...my LDH wouldn't make ANY appointments either, but he would go once they were made.
In fact when it came to making the initial C appointment...it took me getting angry with him over the phone telling him that I just didn't understand what was so damned hard about picking up the phone and making an appt. I thought (at the time) that since he seemed to be the one with the sexual issues that it might be best if he found someone he was comfortable with (I now know how wrong that was.) That if he would just show some initiative I'd be happy to make the appt. for him, but everytime I offered he'd get angry and put up a wall. About 20 minutes after our little blow-up over the phone, which ended w/me in tears (very uncharacteristic for me) he called me back and asked me to make the appointment.
That was the beginning of our R improving.
With my LDH I must take the lead, he will follow...but for some reason he can't yet get up the courage to get the ball rolling....so it's up to me to do it. It's not that he doesn't think I/We/Us is important, or the issues that I've stated are important....he just didn't/doesn't know what to do...so he's stuck in the mode of doing nothing at times. It's as if he's overwhelemed.
I've learned to accept that about him, hopefully someday it will change a bit...but for now I know. If I want something, I must speak up and be clear about it...and be prepared to possibly orchestrate the whole thing, but he will participate if I do this....and usually, now, happily.
