You just stated what your own hurdle is that you need to overcome, by that I mean what YOU NEED TO DO.
Quote: There are things I suppose I caould do to make the marriage better for HER, but I can not think of a single thing that I can do to make the marriage better for me.
Do you truly not see how making the marriage better for her will motivate her to make things better for you? Are you really that stuck in tunnel vision? She is not going to suddenly wake up one morning and start doing what you want her to. She isn't going to suddently "get it" unless you communicate CLEARLY with her. And...you need to do something to deal with your anger towards the issues you two have. Sure, I know you come here and vent...that's ok, we all do at times....BUT your posts often drip of anger & resentment. If the little you write here has that type of feeling coming through I GUARANTEE YOU SHE FEELS IT FROM YOU TOO! That is perhaps the least motivating thing I can think of that you can do.
People on this board have told you this time and time again...why do you persist in this exercise of insanity? You are in a marriage CeMar, this is not all about YOU...there are two people involved. If she's unhappy about something (whatever it is) and you continue to not address it, or meet whatever need it is, or in this case...not make the marriage better for her....exactly how do you think she's going to be motivated to work on it with you?
People have given you some excellent advice on this board what have you actually tried or put into practice...besides just reading the books. The books are full of good ideas, but you actually have to try what's suggested, give things time and see if things work, and then try something else if what you tried before doesn't work.
