I understand what you are saying...some people don't deal well w/crisis...both my H and I happen to do very well with that. But he's used to dealing w/people who don't...so he often behaves as though I will freak out on him.
Anyway...I digress, It's great to be strong and deal with problems/issues. It's a completely different issue to not show your W how you feel towards her, emotionally speaking. This is a problem.
If you read back on some of my threads you'll see that I'm a big advocate in changing yourself to get the ball rolling towards changing your R for the better. You have NO control over what she does, but you have control over what you do. If you are pretty sure she's emotionally deprived and you can help remedy that then do it!
Don't let your pride stand in the way on this. I know you feel that you're doing all the work right now...and maybe you are. But you have a problem in your M, you recognize it, and YOU have some power to help fix that.
A previous C of ours once asked me what need of my H's could I think of that I might not be meeting...that was a hard question to answer since he never told me. YOU have a good idea of a need your W has that you aren't meeting, you admit it she probably feels emotionally deprived.
Try changing yourself in a way to meet that need. That doesn't mean you have to be a quivering puddle of tears...but talk to her face-to-face and let your face/actions convey your emotions. Touch her, soften your face when you talk to her...things like that. Heck if you need to practice in a mirror. See how you look when you say something you'd like to tell her...does your face match your words?
It's a place to start...and definitely something to think about.
