Thanks for the reply. You aren't in the same fields, but you do both have stressful careers. I remember how stressful the entertainment industry can be, my late finacee was also in that field. I will tell you though how our C described men like my H (and possibly you too) to me...when she told me this, I thought "I couldn't have put it better myself!" Think about this and see if perhaps it may apply to you too...
She described my H as being "emotionally flatlined" on the exterior. Now that doesn't mean he doesn't have emotions, just that on the outside you can't tell what he's feeling...so he appears not to have emotions. For someone like me that can be very difficult. Yes, my H has told me he loves me...but when his actions and exterior expressions don't match the words...it's very confusing. I felt like I was being told he loved me, because he felt he had to...not because he felt it. Do you know what I mean? It was also very difficult because I knew he was a different person at work than what I saw at home. He would talk to me passionately about what he does and what was going on there, but I NEVER heard any passion in his voice about ME.
I can tell you my H has feelings that run quite deep, I know that now, but he's been ver protective of his feelings and hasn't shared them. I also know that he doesn't want to appear "weak" so that has in the past prevented him from showing certain things. He's getting much better at letting some of that leak out every now and then ;-) As a result I can literally "feel" us becoming closer emotionally.
Is it possible that your W has felt emotionally deprived? That, in itself, is enough to make people withdraw...I know I did initially. But I also knew if we were going to work things through I would have to take charge to do it...you are in a slightly different position than I was.
