Right, but it doesn't help matters at all if you heap the extra baggage on her. I think MrsNOP's point is that it took both of you to create the situation as it stands today. It isn't going to get better until you can both clearly feel what the other is feeling. That takes communication and an healthy helping of humility. I think you have to let go of the anger and resentment before you can expect to be able to "walk a mile in her shoes". It wasn't until both MrsGGB and I were able to put on the other's shoes to see how it felt that we were able to make any progress. Once we got to that point though, the progress was incredible. Yes, we still struggle quite a bit, but at least now we have the tools to help each other along.
