MrsNOP – thanks! I love how you adapted my silly steak analogy. -------------- "My concern is that if the problem continues to be couched in terms of power, the ability to pursue and reach a solution is going to be severely hampered, if not impossible"
I don’t really mean power in a bad way, just that the fact is unless I force myself on her (which will never happen) she holds the power I can not have sex with her unless she agrees. I don’t see it as a hurdle other than she must decide she’s willing to work on this problem. That’s the real power issue, she knows the issues and the problems and has not been willing to take action lasting more than a month. ----------------- From the list the following seem to apply to our relationship.
7. She was reared to believe that steak is wrong or dirty. 8. She doesn't know jack-squat about steak, either preparation or eating, and goes to extremes to disguise her ignorance.
------------------ "So, how productive is it to ignore the dynamics that often go into the situation and settle it squarely on our spouse's head as "least interested, got control"?"
I don’t think it’s her fault…just that I feel like I’ve hit the wall on the ways to drive the solution. I can not do it with out her participation.
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"By concentrating only on your spouse's sex drive, we miss the bigger picture of the f*cked up relationship and relational dynamics. IMO."
You right, but the LM issue seems to have driven all our other issues. This started back when we got married (after the honeymoon night it was 9 months before we LM. Any time I examined an issue between us it leads back to this. I, of course, with my frustration and at some points anger have created many of the issues…
I get the sense that to her if you don’t like the way something is, you just deal with it. With me if I don’t like the way something is I want to change it. -------------------
GEL
"Mind if I ask what field you work in for a living? Our C has noticed a bit of a personality trait with men in my H's field of work."
No problem, I’m an Executive with an international entertainment company.
