A LD spouse (male or female) will never recognize the "power" or "control" they have over the relationship.
Your steak anaolgy is very similar to the many that I've given my h...he get's the concept just doesn't seem to know how to apply it to our relationship sexual or otherwise....
here are but a few of the analogies I've given to rebut his "it's just the way I am" stance...
h is a Landscaper and therefore takes great care of our lawn...waters it, cuts it, fertelizes it, irates it, over seeds it twice a year, sprays for weeds, installed an irrigation system resets it at times during the season to ensure proper growth etc.
Now why would he think a relationship would prosper and grow when left to it's own?
Or how about my most recent response to the "it's just the way I am" stance (which I know may be easier for a mother to relate to)...You have a baby...that baby needs feeding and changing but it also needs to be cuddled, held, sung to, read to, rocked etc...you could just as easily put it in a swing and prop a bottle up when it's hungry and mechanincally change it's diaper but will it prosper and grow into a healthy happy child?
what I don't understand is how most often the LD spouse knows and at least on a basic level comprehends the negative impact of what they do/don't do they continue to be inactive and expect that grass (of a m, sex life) to grow into a lavish lawn without doing anything to ensure it does.
