MrsNOP - whether my wife wants the power, has ill intentions with the power, or is ignorant of her power...in the end no matter how, she's got the power. My power lies in my ability to leave, to cope, to persuade, to work toward a solution etc.
I try and use the concept of being hungry. I'm starving and my wife has just grilled a steak with all the trimming and to top it off she has banana pudding (mmm getting hungry). But she's not hungry, in fact she's not sure if she’ll ever be hungry and will not allow me to have any until she's hungry. She's got the power. My choice is to make a sandwich, go out and get McDonalds, stay hungry.
I hope this explains what I’m trying to say about power in our relationship.
