Quote: But I do want someone who is going to stand up for me, who will make me feel protected & safe, someone who shows me he loves me not by what he gives me materially, but by what he does.
I have never been a big holiday, gifty sort of person. Unless the holiday involves tons of family, big dinners/get togethers, and lots of visiting. I've always been much more sensitive to daily interactions as opposed to special day stuff.
But, Lass, you and I may be abnormal when it comes to gift goodies.
My MIL was a real piece of work (may she rest in peace and I did eventually become her favorite daughter-in-law).
The first time NOP took me to meet her, her attempted relationship-voodoo was to pointedly ignore me; make sure I saw pics of NOP's richer, still preferred former girlfriend; all mixed liberally with outright rudeness. As we got up to leave, NOP let her know politely that what she had just done was not acceptable and that he would not subject me to such treatment again in the near future.
And we were just dating at the time.
Throughout our ordeal, NOP and I still had a core of mutual respect for each other, although we went through times when we didn't like each other very much.
If respect is lost or missing in a marriage, I almost think that it *must* be acknowledged and dealt with along with the sexual issues for there to be any real, permanent progress.
