Quote: The one thing that may have gotten through is understanding in a heartfelt way how much my H was hurting over this issue. Do your wives have any clue how much pain you're in? Would you allow them to read some of your posts? Because when it comes down to it, I never understood what the big deal was about sex when I was feeling LD, and my H is not one to show emotional angst. I wish your wives could read your thoughts...you express yourselves so well on this BB.
IHJ,
Yes, my wife is totally aware of the pain her distance has caused me. We have cried over it, prayed about it, and I've poured my heart out to her on more than one occasion. The most recent was four years ago, when I told her I would rather get a separation than continue to live in a sexless marriage. Like others' experiences on this board, that threat of leaving was the catalyst for some real heartfelt change in her, but they were short-lived (less than two months) and soon the old, LD wife reappeared.
I have also poured my very soul and innermost self out to her in long e-mails and IM exchanges over the years. So while I KNOW this isn't easy for her (and this Board has really helped me to empathize with the LDW mindset), she CAN'T write it off to "Oh my gosh, I never knew!"
