I was hoping some of insightful ladies of the board would pop in…thanks.

Mrs NOP - Yes, she’s responded to some of the romantic things I’ve done but the response was not a sexual one

What is confounding to me is that I’ve done the things or versions of the things she’s described to me as making her “swoon” and I’ve not gone right out and done them, I’ve waited in some cases years before doing it.

I guess I don’t fit in any of the roles very well. I’m a nice guy, educated and I’m very much a warrior (I’m an advance student in Krav Maga) In fact some of her friends are afraid of me (I look intimidating at times, maybe because I’m frustrated?)…until they get to know me.

And don’t worry about offending me, the best have already tried I appreciate your insights and the contribution.

GEL – If she doesn’t feel protected by me then I’m not sure what the deal is…

IHJ – interesting that you didn’t get your drive until he rejected you. Did he just simply reject you over time or was it part of a discussion. I’ve reached a point where I’m not interested in LM with the wife…but I’ve not discussed it with her yet. It’s too hard to have sex, enjoy the closeness and intimacy then get rejected by her for 3 months.

Yes I‘ve discussed this subject at length with her. I’ve bought books (I read them she makes it through maybe a couple of chapters, been to counselors, wrote long emails back and forth and we’ve made basically made zero permanent progress. We’ve had a few periods off and on where we are ok but that doesn’t last more than 2 months.

Would I let her read my post? Maybe. But I’ve already written it all down for her on numerous times in much more detail over the last 5 years…