I really find this thread interesting. I can easily lose my motivation for sex, and I can tell you that there is nothing manipulative about it. I don't understand all the factors behind it, but somehow I just lose my motivation to be sexual. My current HDness was really fueled by my H's rejection of me and that "crisis" really got me going. I really admire you guys for trying to figure it out and get your W's on board. My H really didn't complain all too much and just detached. He tells me now he felt very rejected by me, which came out through anger and irritability...I have to say, even if he were more direct about it, it probably would not have gotten through. Romantic gestures would not have led to more sex...I would have enjoyed them but would have been very hurt if H thought it was a way to get more sex. If he did them just to be nice, it would not have triggered me to be sexual in return.
The one thing that may have gotten through is understanding in a heartfelt way how much my H was hurting over this issue. Do your wives have any clue how much pain you're in? Would you allow them to read some of your posts? Because when it comes down to it, I never understood what the big deal was about sex when I was feeling LD, and my H is not one to show emotional angst. I wish your wives could read your thoughts...you express yourselves so well on this BB.
