This has absolutely been my experience as well. I believe that the more romantic the romantic spouse becomes (and this theory could be extended to include the more CHORES the more contributing spouse does), this then simply becomes the new expectation, the new "floor" below which the other spouse expects you not to go. And when you DO go below that expectation (and we all have bad days), you get your head bit off with "what's wrong with YOU?"
I firmly believe that the less romantic, less-contributing Neanderthal who occasionally does a little sumpin'-sumpin' to exceed those expectations gets treated better than the helpful romantic that's consistent, sad to say.
