I'm beginning to feel like I've been living in the future, and I'd like to settle down to living in the moment. I feel a bit like I've been on constant alert - watching for any signs of anything that might be damaging to my kids - probably over alert. I need sleep, I need time to myself doing something - I have too much 'thinking' time (remember my 2 hr commute). I do have woman friends, but a lousy time schedule - I'm at work while everyone else is home.
For the most part, the kids do live without interaction between H and I. Even most of the stuff that I've written here has happened after the kids are asleep, since that's about the only time H and I are in the house together.
Thing is, I am honestly going out of my way to not engage H. I did continue the convo this weekend, because I saw that maybe he was beginning to talk, maybe he was opening...
Ok, I'm just rambling, or at least my brain is, should have gone to bed a while ago.I definately need to take a break from all of this...
