I find it interesting that it sounds like you are defending him, are you?
Let me make a couple of observations. It's natural for people to get irritated with their kids...I too have flown out of bed because I resented the fact that I had to get up (AGAIN) with my child and I was tired, while my hubby got to slumber away undisturbed. That's perfectly natural.
Yelling and screaming, while not generally an acceptable form of communication is not physical abuse...why would he jump to that conclusion...perhaps because he's done that? Perhaps he knows he's capable of it? I don't know...but if you've never physically abused your children....why would he jump to that conclusion? It's not rational.
If you grabbed your H's arm and intervened when he grabbed your child, that's perfectly acceptable to me...in my view that's physically threatening your child at the least, you were doing what most protective mothers would have done.
I maintain he's projecting himself on to you...don't let him do that. Sure you have a temper, I do too (it comes with the red hair LOL). He's using it against you, but projecting his behavior onto you with it.
When he does this I'd call him on it...he's accusing you of the EXACT behavior of his...what makes it so wrong for you to behave that way (not that you do), but perfectly acceptable for him?
