My guess is, she's hurting and hurt people do nasty things. My H was terrible to me for a very long time, even to the point of getting other people to pick up dd because he didn't want to see me, telling the kids nasty stuff about me, writing nasty reports about me, hell - the man even testified against me in court. I lost custody on my 27th birthday and I had to sit next to him in court on my birthday and read out a speech about why I was walking away, that was on my flippin' birthday, so believe me, I UNDERSTAND how frustrated and hurt you are.
The point I am making is, that was only last April (04) and by June he was admitting he was a state and that he missed me. By December we were dating again, so it only took a few months after all that HELL. It was proof to me that no matter how bad things get, there is always, ALWAYS hope.
A friend once said to me: Passionate M means Passionate Break up, i.e, if she still loves you she will be hurting and do whatever she can to hurt you back. If she didn't care, she would just detach successfully because it wouldn't bother her.
Think of a toddler, Tag, if they are feeling ignored they will scream and cry and cause a fuss to GET YOUR ATTENTION. This is her way of continuing a R, abeit negatively, but nonetheless, negative emotion to her is better than NO emotion.
I'll better you anything you like that the detaching you are trying to do is bugging her so she was almost HOPING you would get angry with her.
This is not going to be a quick fix, Tag, stop expecting fast results. This could take you months or even years. If you want to save your R be prepared to really work at it.
Carry on DB'ing. Reward good behaviour from her by being pleasant and nice to her etc, COMPLETELY IGNORE bad behaviour. Then, just like a toddler, she will get to know what works.
