The first thing I noticed whilst DB'ing was that he asked to look at my re-decorating and he went all round my house, looking in every room. Then he said every room was a different colour (compliment). I said 'yeah, it's my 'Changing Rooms' dream' (Changing Rooms is a home makeover program). He laughed at me.
He started stopping at my house for 2 hours just to chat - so I knew he wanted me. He'd tell me what he was doing without me asking (before he didn't tell me anything about his life).
Smiles, suggestive eye-contact, noticing my clothes etc. 'You look nice today' and so on.
I'd purposely not answer the phone and then he'd say 'I've been trying to call you' and I'd say 'Oh, right' (acting indifferent but soaring on the inside!).
I noticed him lingering in doorways, prolonging conversations etc and then my suspicions were confirmed when he said 'happy anniversary'.
I kind of shut the door on him and did cartwheels round my living room!
After that we had several 'racey' msn chats on the computer and we had a nice family Christmas together, and after that ocassion it developed into a sexual relationship as well.
It was pretty easy really, as I know when my H is flirting
Ioavva, I think you could carry the weight of every one here on your shoulders! After reading your posts I'm absolutley flabergasted that anyone could leave you. Keep posting, I need the inspiration!
Right, after writing this I'm going to bed as I don't feel all that well so having an early night.
This morning I put on my little black dress that I normally reserve for going out in and proceeded to scrub the kitchen floor. (I still do it the old fashioned way, LOL).
H came in (no knocking, just walked in off the street) while I was on my hands and knees, scrubbing. He laughed at me, then when I got up he said 'You're looking rather glamorous today'. (1 score to Jo!).
I saw dd's for 3 hours and we played and watched videos and my friend Belle came round when he and dd's were there and she doesn't know so we did the 'divorced but polite' routine in front of her.
Then H took all the girls to this home ed thing. I had a few hours to work but not much work as business is worryingly quiet. Lulu (my dd3) cried when they left but she stopped when I told her see was seeing me again in 2 days.
H came back EARLY in the afternoon and we discussed quiet business problem and he again said I should let him do the website. I think I am going to agree as it needs something to get more trade.
He talked about this new car he's getting and asked to use my phone to call up about money which was supposed to be in his account which he hasn't been paid.
I told him about the osteopath I went to see yesterday and that it isn't a spinal injury, it's a muscular injury so he was relieved about that.
We ML (2 score to Jo!!) and he lay there afterwards, holding me for ages and he said he is surprised I still want him because he took me to court. I said that I hurt him too, and besides that, it made me a stronger person and he gave me the best storyline of my life. From a journalist's point of view, it was a gutsy piece. He laughed and snuggled in a bit closer to me.
He then fell asleep in my arms. I can't even begin to tell you how good that was, that he was relaxed enough with me to do that. I lay there listening to him breathe for ages.
Eventually he woke up, we had some coffees and chatted a bit more, then I gave him this cassette I recorded of our dd singing.
He said he'd see us on Sunday because it's Mother's Day and we are all going to have some family time!
Jo, Hey, Mother's Day? I thought that was 8May? Between you and eyesopen you both carry the load of the people on this website. I can't thank you enough. Have a great weekend.
How would you have an Independence Day? That's the day we declared independence from you Brits. You might consider it "Regrets Day." That's the day you lost the opportunity for the largest GNP in the world! Just kidding, have a great weekend!
Wow Jo. I guess your case is just one of those where in order for the individuals in the couple to grow, they had to separate. I can't really comment how your H has grown, but WOW, you have made huge strides in your life. I only wish I could do that and I could get my XW back...it will take a long time and I have to be patient. It is pretty obvious that she is still confused and/or feeling guilty over leaving us in that she is not really consistently interacting with my sons as she said she would. Have a great weekend.
Ioavva, you must be impacting me! Look what I'm posting today. Back in December, I attended a mission by Father Tom Allender. Father covered just about all of my sins and spent private time with me. While addressing marriage problems he correlated many of my behaviors to my family upbringing and all were true. Rage, silent treatment, and criticism, nasty criticism were everyday occurrences. I ran from them but regardless of the distance they were there onboard rearing their ugly head each time I felt threatened. Father said part of my cure was to become friends with my father. I asked how? We never talk, if we do its some criticism about some bum, to which Father said just spend time. Don’t air your differences just spend time. Spend time? I’d rather die! Needless to say me the supreme business solution guru couldn’t figure a way to act until my mom was hospitalized and I flew home and it was dad and I. We went to breakfast, church, and visited mom in the hospital. Stage 1 complete. This morning I called fully expecting my mother to answer. Dad never answers the phone. Somehow God must be working on a miracle and low and behold its not a two minute “have mom call me” but an hour talk about me, and kids and my wife. Compassionate not critical. Empathy not solutions. Father once said, “Want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans.” I couldn’t have planned my mother’s operation nor could I have planned the phone call it’s somehow about letting people come to you rather than taking it to them. “That’s all the news from Lake Woebegone, where all the women are strong, all the men are handsome, and all the children are above average.”
Excellent, well done mate. You see, if you let people wonder after you, then they miss you and want you.
I had to cut my mother off because she was bad for my self-esteem and my M. I still love her but sometimes if someone just brings negative things into your life, you have to put up boundaries.
I hope one day we make up, but for now it has to stay like that so I can piece my family back together.
Btw, in reference to your earlier post, I'm not a genuine Brit anyway, because my dad was Greek! It's H who is the genuine Brit!
