I saw H today and it went great. He said he wanted to talk about my text on our 'secret' R and he said he didn't want to announce it at this moment because of all the stuff we have been through before. He said he wanted to take things slowly and get to know me more before we make it public with the relatives.
They were a large reason we split up, so I see his point.
I explained my reason behind it, that I want more time with him and I want to do more stuff without sneaking around. I explained if we went out more, it would feel more like a proper R and I wouldn't be so worried.
To my surprise, he agreed with me and said we should go out more and do other things more, so that was great. He said he appreciated that I text him first, rather than just telling people (that was 180 for me).
He then made me a coffee (first time he's helped himself to things in my kitchen!).
He then started this discussion about M and how he has changed his opinions on it, and babies. I stopped him and said hold on, you're jumping too fast, I am not asking you to marry me.
He said he knew, but he wanted to discuss it now so we don't argue about it in future. He said that he does not agree with legal marriage as people can break their vows by getting a D and that the stuff he likes these days are commitment ceremonies or hand-fasting which he said to him have more meaning and that he doesn't think there needs to be an M to prove that he is in love.
(I knew his views on this already). I said I accepted this fact but from my point of view, there would have to be some type of ceremony (legal or not) just so we could apologise to each other for the hurts and re-commit to the R. I again stated it was too early to be discussing it.
He accepted my point and said that if we did have a ceremony it would be 'quite a long time in the future'. I told him I knew that and just wanted to enjoy dating him and getting to know him again and not have to talk about M or babies.
I said that he was viewing me as the old 'Jo' with a lot of issues I have now successfully worked through, and I was not like that but we both didn't know each other all that well because we didn't see each other for a year and this time round we don't get a lot of time alone.
He said he knew and validated my feeling that we should do more non-sexual things.
Then he gave me this big hug and we stood in the doorway kissing each other for ages, before he left, saying 'See you on Friday, and we shall talk in the meantime.'
