Ioavva, just read your story. Only one suggestion as work is begging to get done. I work from home repairing copiers, fax machines and laser printers.
Take / invite H out to coffee, Subway, fish & chips or what ever. Make a deal with him you will only take him out if he does the same for you, that you want to re-establish your relationship slowely and properly so the old problems do not overwhelm the relationship again. I imagine you both might be a little gun shy ( worried old behaviors will come back to hurt the relationship).
About feeling used, the sex coupled with other together time might be what H needs to feel closer to you. Could you incorperate some other good things you two did in the past so it is not only sex?
Reconnecting with the children seems to be the brightest thing in your posts. Because I feel my comments might not be exactly what you might need to do I will only say let your H see how good a mom / mum you can be to your and his children too.
Guys like sexy women but real family oriented men like good mum's better.
Great job about turning your life around. I had to look up hand-fasting ceremony. Never heard that term in the U.S. before.
