The coach basically counselled me first on the principles of reuniting and then after that on G A L. He gave me moral support when the court stuff was happening.
I don't have any contact with him anymore but he was helpful at the time.

The 2 year old is my H's - I was 6 months pregnant when he left. (she was planned, I had no idea the m was in trouble).

I went into extreme shock at the time because there was no rowing, there was no problem and then he just turned around one day and said 'we don't work, I'm leaving' when it was him who told me not to take the pill.
I couldn't believe it and so had depression for a long while. I saw a dr once a month until Feb or March of 03 and then was pronounced well.

Then he said he wanted the baby after I gave birth so we went to court over that. I won because she's always been with me and there was no reason to remove her. He got to keep the others because of my record of depression after separation and the fact they'd been at his house so long anyway.

There was basically 2 years of hearings for that, including a court ordered psychological eval of both of us and I came out better in mine than he did. She said I was just utterly lonely from the breakdown of all of my central relationships and that I was not depressed. She said that both me and H were 'emotionally dependent' on each other, i.e, him as well.

Interviews were up to 7 hours long (very draining).
Even the GAL interviews were 2 hours and I was never listened to.

I used to have my kids 2 days a fortnight, but every time I had them, he would use it as an excuse to yell at me, tell me what to do etc and tell them messages to pass onto me (not always nice). I thought he was trying to control me through them so that is why I quit.

When he came back round last June he seemed different in the way he behaves so I thought maybe it's okay. I sussed him out for a few months to see if this behaviour change was geniune and when I figured it was, I invited the kids round for Christmas. That is how the contact was re-established.

I actually don't regret my decision as I needed space after all of that, although I do regret how it must have made them feel.

Jo.