If I ASK him out surely that defeats the purpose of trying to act cool?
The situation with the kids has always been extremely difficult. We have court orders and he generally doesn't discuss them outside of the court ordered times. Also, as I walked out of court what I essentially did was walk out on them too. I couldn't take anymore as it had been 2 years of hearings, barristers, witness boxes etc - 2 whole years and I thought damn it, this is killing me, I am going, so I did. I didn't see any of them for months. Actually, he tried to persuade me to see them but I said no. I told him I didn't want to see anyone in my family at all and that I just wanted to breathe. Between April 04 and Christmas 04, I did not see my children at all apart from to send cards. It has only been since Christmas I have seen them and it's very tentative. All the damage that was done, well, I think my relationship with them is as critical as with my H. I am speaking to them on msn quite frequently now as well so it has improved slightly. It doesn't surprise me that he doesn't tell me about them as when he has tried in the past, I just start crying as I remember the court stuff which was so traumatic. So in the end, I think he just gave up trying to tell me. I have invited them for a takeaway next week so that's a good sign as I've never done that with them before since they were 4 and 5 (two eldest are now 7 and 9). I hope I don't get judged for this post but it really was the most horrific mess. I am writing a book about it, partly to heal and also because I think it's an interesting story. I am aware he treated me like a dog, but I know I still love him. His interests are the same as mine, he says the same thing at the same time as me. He can still make me laugh. We can still chat for 2 hours about nothing after all this, so in my opinion it must be worth something, and I kind of feel that I would get my kids back living with me too if he was. I am fighting for my whole family, here, aside from the littley who is with me.
Should I be more upfront with him then? It's just assertive normally scares him.
