Well, I don't think he was ever in love with OW - he moved her in after they only met once (she told me) mainly I think for the court so he could pretend to be a 2 parent family. It worked and I was so furious I didn't speak to him for a year. His OW told me that they only slept together like once every month and she felt as if she was forcing him. He used to pretend to be asleep (she was crying on the phone when she told me this). She said he only did it because he wanted to prove he could have sex with someone else (I was his only sexual partner in his life prior to this) and she was on the re-bound from a D, and homeless so she had housing issues also and my H solved the problem for her. I know there was never any attraction as she is 46 and my H was only 29 at the time. He has come to me before when he was still with her and I told her as I don't like dishonesty. I do feel concerned at the way my H manipulated the situation for the court and how he says he's fine for her and her bf to be hanging around his house waiting on the housing list because basically she is a free babysitter. This infuriates me as I am the mother and he took them off me in a lengthy court process only to use this woman as a nanny. However, I have said nothing as I still love him deeply and I feel if I focus on the hurts I will never get anywhere. So I am trying to focus on the nice stuff he does (which he is very caring) and remember all the reasons why we married etc. I have done a lot of G A L work. The first year after the split I was extremely depressed. I have come off the anti-depressants, I have stopped seeing the dr, I have been cleared of having any depression. I got rid of my mother out of my life (long story but very helpful), I had a baby whom I have now raised into a bubbly 2 year old (did that all on my own, even the birth so I'm quite proud). I've re-decorated my house all over, put a new kitchen in, started a new course and gone on holiday abroad on my own twice, I've had life-coaching (like this divorce busting stuff) for 2 years which is great. In fact, my life-coach is the reason why my H and I still have any relationship. Some of my health problems have cleared up. The only thing I will say is, I need to get out of the house more. I work from home so I don't get out much and it gets isolating in these circumstances.
